WHY DO CHURCHGOERS DON’T GO TO CHURCH ANYMORE?
Life without
Christ is pointless. This phrase reminds me of a homily from a priest in our
barrio. He is one of the brilliant priests I have ever met. He was confident
and loyal to his faith. This leads me to become a churchgoer.
Way back when I was a little curious
creature about my faith, I was inclined to this phrase. I always let people
know I do things according to God’s will. I have been an active church leader
and there I gained a lot about what exactly my faith is all about. And so, days
became years of service in church. I put myself in Christ whom I believe was my
friend. I joined a lot of religious groups, I prayed the rosary and novena, and
I also joined numerous youth gatherings. My life was filled of Christ-centred
activities. I feel I was loved.
But as time passed by and I aged
faster that I could imagine questions emerged and confusions became frequent.
Why do I do this? What exactly faith means? Is He really alive? Why do people go
to church and still do things the same as they use to be? Another factor is
that I got a really tough job after I graduated in college. And this triggers
me to stop everything. I cut ties to Christ whom I use to believe was with me.
I don’t go to church anymore not because I don’t have time but because of what
I have noticed. A lot go to church for some reasons: to date with loved ones,
to show newest trends of clothing, to be seen by many, the worst to pretend how
religious he or she. It was so disgusting to see those people. In addition to
these, some of our priests were not loyal to their vows.
I became Judas of my own. I want to
go to church but I couldn’t. I became ashamed in front of Him. I do things on
my own. I tried everything that was considered negative. And to tell you
honestly, I love what I am doing. What’s bad is good to me. Evil sparks in my
being. I became independent human who wants to set free. I was drowned to
negativity which leads me to become lonely. Yes, I do have friends and family
but I can’t feel them anymore. I was numb to love and became addicted to
loneliness.
My dreams turned into nightmares. My
world became dull and plain. I was too proud of myself that I was close minded
to every criticism I heard. I let evil succumbed me. Sometimes, I wish I was an
idiot who doesn’t care about his life. No worries and pain and just live his
life the way it is. How I wish I am ordinary.
Please help me to be me again. Pray
for me.
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