Happy Birthday!

11:17 PM Unknown 0 Comments


I remember when we first met; you’re one of the most adorable creatures I ever known. The most angelic face and the most modest attitude of all times belong to you. One time I saw you playing in the fields with your girl friends and there I realized how brilliant you would become someday. You keep on asking a lot of things from the people around you. How things started, can you try it, can you do it? You were awesome. You enjoyed the company of others because you learned something from them and they learned so much more from you. In your elementary days in the barrio, you were comfortable just reading a few books, learning how to write, learning how to pronounce new words and then when you’re bored you’re done. You tried to ask help from your loving father and mother but they themselves can’t understand how you think. So, they decided to pursue your schooling until high school. They should. Why? Because you were born gifted. Who among your friends were consistently on the top of your class until graduation? It’s only you! You alone! Oh don’t forget being the model boy as well. It was fresh in my thoughts how happy and proud your father putting your medals on your special day.

In high school we became more cognizant about anything; you learned how big the world is. Competition heats up with others who wanted to be on top as well. You learned to be stronger and fiercer. You learned that life is more challenging than you expected. You became busier, more subjects to pass, more activities to overcome. Then you became the apple of the eye in the class, you gain more friends but a lot of them stub you at the back. I personally hate them than you know. I never asked you about life in that moment because I know you can still handle the pressure. Thanks to your ever supportive parents who gave you the comfort and happiness whenever you needed it. High school also was a battle between you and money. I remember one scenario in your life that your parents were broke and what you have for dinner was a cup of hot coffee. All five of you were looking at each other, then silence fill the room and you decided to sleep because you can’t do something about it because you’re too young. But the battle was become victorious on the day of your graduation. You still defended your title and became the valedictorian of class 2005. What an achievement isn’t it?

Now, one more to go and you will find a decent job I supposed. You tried to take exams on the biggest universities in town. You never disappoint me when you learned that you pass the UPCAT. You wanted to study AB mass communication but you decided to put broadcasting journalism on that piece of paper when you applied in UP but it doesn’t matter now. I know how hard it is to let go for such wonderful opportunity. So you decided to enrol at Aklan Catholic College where you tried to tell yourself that it’s the best school in the whole province of Aklan.  From then, you stepped at the school’s entrance and realized how bigger the world is. It is bigger that you expected it. You saw beautiful and handsome faces which you’re a little bit jealous because you knew to yourself that you can never be like them. With so much passion and hard work in college you became popular for being one of the brightest in the campus considering that you came from a barrio and a public school graduate. In college, the struggle is real isn’t it? Friends became your foes. They lead you to discover more about material things in life. And as a fragile man-curious about the world you ended up enjoying anything what the Earth was offering to you. You tried to go on night outs till dawn, you tried to taste liquor, but thank God you never tried drugs and cigar. NEVER! As time passed by, challenges were beating you. In your second year in college your mother asked you to stop schooling but you never gave up. Thanks to the intervention of your relatives abroad that they send you money to continue your education. In third year, you were on track again and took the medal for being one of the dean’s list. At least you tried again. I was surprised to see your mother that day, crying so much on stage for she realized how you struggle to have that medal. The story behind was that you went back home with the news that you were on top again but to your surprised no one can put that medal on on your recognition day because money was the biggest issue. You decided to go back to Kalibo without anything on your pocket. You asked the student counsellor that you will be the one to put that medal on because you believe that you were worthy for that medal. And so the ceremony started and your mother was there to put that medal on to you. The crown was filled with emotions and they all took a round of applause for both of you.  She cried like a baby in front of many. From then on you realized how important life is. You continue being on top and receive Magna CUM Laude in college.

You were one of the most excited bachelors after your graduation because you believe that after graduation many good companies would hire you. But what shocked you was that it’s a battle between brains, fame, experience and power. You ended up unemployed for almost three months and their came Cebu Pacific. The salary was a little bit low but you have no choice because you have no more money to find another decent job. Now I can see you as a full grown man. You decided on your own. You travelled a lot. You discovered new things. You encountered a lot of brilliant people. You were really a full grown man. Before I went to say goodbye, I wanted to tell you something. Happy twenty second birthday I hope your plans will all became real. You should continue to be the Winston that we all known and loved. Have the courage to pursue your dreams and be a blessing to others as always.

Oh I forgot. It’s me, your conscience. Happy birthday!


I remember when we first met; you’re one of the most adorable creatures I ever known. The most angelic face and the most modest a...

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Pag-ibig Na Di Maintindihan

10:44 PM Unknown 0 Comments


Bukal ng awa
Bumangon ka!
Ibuhos sa amin
Tubig ng pag-asa.

Kislap ng dalisay na pag-ibig
Kawangis mo'y bagwis ni Kamatayan
Na kahit sukdulan ang hiling
Pintig ng puso parin ang pipiliin.

Dahas ay kumawala
Sa mga panaghoy ng kamalasan
Niningas sa karimlan
Ilaw ng kadiliman.

Pilantik at kaluskos
Ay napag-iwanan
Unti-unting naglalaho
Busilak na pagnanasa.

Isipin mong ang perlas
Na itinurok ko sa 'yong kamay
Di na mapapalitan
Bagkus simbolo ito ng walang hanggang pagdurusa.

Isipin mo ang kahihinatnan
Taksil na mata
Sa harap ng mapanghusgang dila
Ikaw ba talaga'y pupusta?

Bihisan ka man ng nyebe
Pagandahin ka man ng kabibe
Pero sa likod ng ganyak na karangyaan
Nagkukubli ang mapait na nakaraan.

Sana, sa pagsapit ng bukang-liwayway
May dangal pa sa iyong naghihintay
Hinila ka man sa yurak
Siguraduhin mong sa huli sayo pa rin ang huling halakhak!

Bukal ng awa Bumangon ka! Ibuhos sa amin Tubig ng pag-asa. Kislap ng dalisay na pag-ibig Kawangis mo'y bagwis ni Kam...

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Et Filii

11:46 PM Unknown 0 Comments

Here's an Akeanon poem which I composed during my troubled days in college. I hope you like it for those who understand Inakeanon. Please do love Akeanon poetry and try to make one.

Haksa ako! O panganud.
Eupara ako paibabaw
Eunuta ro mga dyablo
Nga nagahunos kakun paidaeum.

Indi pagtuguti nga madaea nanda ako
Kimo ko eon ginatugyan rung tanan
Tabangi man ru ang ispiritu
Nga indi maduea sa kahawaan.

Sa pagbutlak ko mga bituon sa kaeangitan,
Makita Mo ako nga naga-euhod
Gapangamuyo it madaeum
Sa pihak ku mga kalisdanan.

Ru Imong masilak nga bertud
Ipabutyag sa tanan
Nga IKAW makagagahum
Uwa kimo't eabing mataas.

Sa eutay ako naghalin
Eutay man ru akon nga paea-adtunan
Ngani kabay nga matuman
Rung tanan Nimo nga mga handum.

Bugtawa rung kalibutan
Nga naduea-an it pag-eaum
Isikway ru mga butang nga maea-in
Ag batunun ru mga bugay nga balaan.

Ru hampak it kalisud,
Kabaskog nga indi mahuyang
Buyti ako it mayad
Hay ako nagatuo kimo, MAN-EUEUWAS!

Here's an Akeanon poem which I composed during my troubled days in college. I hope you like it for those who understand Inakeanon. Pl...

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Apoy

9:37 PM Unknown 0 Comments


“Niyurakan nila ang aking pagkatao, nilapastangan, winalang galang, inalipusta…" Ito ang mga katagang namutawi sa kanyang mumunting bibig ng siya’y aking tanungin tungkol sa kanyang kamusmusan.

Araw-araw matatanaw sa tabing ilog ang batang si Gelay. Namumulot at nagtitipon ng mga basurang kanyang makita na maaaring pagkakakitaan. Sa musmos niyang pangangatawan ay nakikipagsabayan na siya sa agos ng buhay hindi para lasapin ito kundi para magbanat na ng buto. Lumaki sa iresponsableng mga magulang, daig pa nila si Gelay sa paglalaro – paglalaro ng baraha.

“Mabuti pa si Inay at Itay naglalaro lang, ako heto lubog sa tubig para makapera tapos di naman namin makakain dahil pangtaya lang nila ito sa madjongan. Sambit ni Gelay na may namumuong butil ng luha sa kanyang kawawang mga mata.

Sa ganitong sitwasyon pinilit parin niyang gapangin ang kanyang pag-aaral. Kahit pabalik-balik siya sa elementarya dahil kung minsan lang pumasok ay wala parin siyang pagod sa pagpupursigeng makapagtapos. Makusot ang kanyang uniporme, walang paligo’t namumugto ang mga mata kung siya’y pumasok sa paaralan. Kaya di maiiwasang tuksuhin siyang anak lupa o engkanto ng kanyang mga kamag-aral.

“Nang misang ako’y dumaan sa geyt bigla na lamang napigtas ang aking isang taong butas na tsinelas, walang anu-ano’y napuno ng bulungan at tawanan ang mga nakasaksi. Dali-dali ko nalang itong kinuha at mabilis na tumakbong umiiyak habang naririnig ko parin ang mas lumakas pa nilang mga halakhak.”

“Kailan pa kaya ako makakatakas sa gapos ng kahihiyan?” Kwento ni Gelay sa akin habang pilit na binabalikan ang mapapait na parte ng kanyang istorya.

“Gelay nasaan ka na bang bata ka!” Galit na sigaw ang pumakawala sa garalgal na boses ng kanyang ina. Naputol ang aming mainit na usapan at siya’y pumaroon na sa kanyang tigreng ina.

“Simula na naman ng delubyo sa kanyang pagkatao.” Usal ko sa sarili habang tiningnan ko si Gelay na pinagagalitan ng kanyang Inay Lita.

Panganay sa limang magkakapitid si Gelay kaya siya ang umaako ng responsibilidad na nakaatang sana sa kanyang mga magulang. Naglalaba, nagluluto, naghahanap-buhay at iba pa lahat na yata ay pasan niya. At may isa pa siyang pasan na kaiba sa lahat. Si Gelay ay pinanganak na kuba kaya sa tuwing may makakita sa kanya’y mamumutwi gaagad ang mga mapanglait na mga ngiti.

“Sa kalye Murat si Gelay ang sikat. Paawtograp naman o Reyna Kuba, nasaan na ang kampana mo?” Tawanan ang lahat ng ibulalas ito ng isang babaeng patpatin.

Patuloy lang si Gelay sa paglalakad dala ang dalawang timba ng tubig. Maya-maya pa’y tumilapon ang kanyang mga bitbit at bumuhos ang laman nito sa kanya dahil nahulog na naman siya sa patibong ng mga binatilyong walang magawa kundi ang siya’y pagtripan.

“Balat lang pala ng saging ang katapat mo. Nakayuko ka na nga bulag pa.” Tawanan ang karamihan.

Pilit tumayo si Gelay at umiiyak na bumalik sa kanilang bahay at doon bumuhos ang kanyang emosyon. Humahagulgol niyang hinanap ang isang kupas na litratong nagpapalakas sa kanya, larawan ito ng ating Poong Maykapal. Habang di alintana ang pagsasama ng luha’t sipon ay pilit niyang tinititigan at makailang beses hagkan ang litrato. Nangungusap ang kanyang puso, “O Diyos ko! Kailan pa kaya matatapos ang lahat ng ito.”

Isang ordinary at mainit na araw, maaliwalas ang kalangitan, walang pag-aalipustang nagbabadya kay Gelay. Pumasok si Gelay sa paaralan dala ang isang maliit na lapis na wala ng pambura at kwadernong nakita niya sa ilog na nagdikit-dikit na dahil nabasa ng agos. Nakasilid ito sa bag niyang pirdible na lang ang nagsisilbing ‘zipper’ nito. Nagpadala siya sa kanyang mga paa sa maingay, mausok, mabahong kalyeng iyon na kumakalam ang sikmura. Tiniis na lamang niya ito dahil alam niyang wala naman siyang magagawa.

Matapos ang klase ay dali-dali na siyang lumakad pabalik dahil oras na ito ng kanyang mga gawaing bahay at siguradong pagagalitan at sasaktan na naman siya ng kanyang mga magulang kapag di siya makagawa.

Isang maingay na sasakyan ang dumaan sa kanyang harapan na parang daguhong ng panganib. Bigla siyang kinabahan ng makitang papunta ang direksyon nito sa kanilang kalye Murat.

Pagdating sa kalye Murat siya’y nanlumo. Nilalamon ng apoy ang buong paligid at dahil sa kapal ng usok at nagkakanda-ugagang mga tao ay hindi siya makaderetso. Lahat ay nagnanais makalayo at maisalba ang mga nipundar na gamit. Walang magawa si Gelay kundi pagmasdan ang pulang elementong tomutupok sa kanyang kinalakihan.

May namutawing ngiti sa kanyang maputlang mga labi habang umaagos ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. Ramdam ni Gelay ang pagdaloy ng luha sa kanyang pisngi. Ito’y parang yelong pumupukaw sa kanyang lungkot at tuwa. Ngunit bakit siya nakangiti?

Sumasayaw ang pulang elemento na parang inaaliw si Gelay. May naririnig siyang saliw ng musika, musikang nagpapalubag-loob sa kanyang pusong nag-iisa. Sa bawat putok na gawa ng mga kawayang nasusunog ay lumilikha ito ng kakatwang tanawin sa mga umaalab na mata ni Gelay. Ang tanawing ito ang umuudyok kay Gelay na ipinta ang malapad na ngiti sa kanyang mukha. Namutawi ang halakhak ni Gelay sa kanyang kinatatayuan. Parang nasa alapaap si Gelay sa mga oras na iyon, ninanamnam ang tanawing kanyang pinapangarap, ang siya naman ang tumawa kaysa pinagtatawanan.

Ang katotohanan sa likod ng mga halakhak na ito ay kapayapaan sa pagdurusang kanyang natikman ng halos labing tatlong taon sa kamay ng kanyang ama’t ina. Ang luha ay para sa kanyang mga kapatid na hindi man lang nakatikim ng konting kaginhawahan bago nagpaalam sa mundong kinasadlakan.

Hapon na ng maapula ang apoy. Tinahak ni Gelay ang malaimpyernong kalye papuntang bahay. Naalis na doon ang bangkay ng kanyang pamilya at walang nakaligtas kahit na isa dahil tulong ang mga ito ng mangyari ang sunog. Nang siya’y naroon na, katahimikan ang kumalat sa buo niyang pagkatao. Hindi niya malaman ang emosyong dumadaloy sa kanyang mga ugat. Maya-maya pa’y mahabang katahimikan ang umalipin sa kanya, ang kalangitan ay nagdilim lahat ay madilim, madilim na madilim….

Namulat si Gelay na sa kamay na ng DSWD. Sa pangangalaga na siya ngayon ng mga awtoridad. Pinipilit na winawaksi ang pait ng kahapon.

Siya si Gelay, ang batang daig pa ang nailibing ng buhay sa lupit ng karanasan sa kanyang buhay. Ikaw, masisisi mo kaya siya sa kanyang pagtawa?

Tinanong ko siya sa kanyang karanasan. Ang tangi niyang naitugon ay: “Niyurakan nila ang aking pagkatao, nilapastangan, winalang galang, inalipusta…"

“Niyurakan nila ang aking pagkatao, nilapastangan, winalang galang, inalipusta…" Ito ang mga katagang namutawi sa kanyang mumun...

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Me, Music and Insomnia!

12:07 AM Unknown 0 Comments



I am still awake listening to the music of the world; unaware of the danger for not having enough sleep in this endless stress of my current situation. I am in battle with my thoughts at the moment if I am going to end up my career or not. But thanks to the song “Roses” that reminds me “say you never let me go”. I feel a little bit conscious that I am just writing this with no direction. I just wanted to keep on writing what I have to say and the emotions I have this morning.

I just wanted to share my life's disappointments. I am already twenty-two years old and here I am working with less money on my hand that I can’t even give the luxury life I dreamed of for my parents. The song now playing is "dance with my father". I was a bright and brilliant man who always loves incorporating with people. Others would say I am gay inside out but they have no idea what I am going through right now. I wanted to fast forward the events in my life to make sure I have a good career in the future. But that’s impossible; time machines were not built yet. I hope so. I have friends who already find their directions in life as what facebook is feeding me. I never dreamed of a perfect life but here I am so jealous with the achievements of my friends. I prayed a lot, I study hard but I am in agony knowing that after college my life would stuck in the mud of a cruel world. The song playing is “I’m not the only one”. I am crazy right now. I wanted to end my pointless life just to get rid of these disappointments but I have this scene in my mind wherein my mother was crying on my own grave telling me how foolish I am.

I feel so much pressure I guess that I didn't noticed how thankful I am than others. But the song "I’m not giving in" reminds me to keep going. So I’m going to end this insanity. I'll just close my eyes with the lyrics of the song in my mind written in these verses "In God’s perfect time!"

I am still awake listening to the music of the world; unaware of the danger for not having enough sleep in this endless stress of my cur...

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