Me, Music and Insomnia!
I am still awake listening to the music of
the world; unaware of the danger for not having enough sleep in this endless
stress of my current situation. I am in battle with my thoughts at the moment
if I am going to end up my career or not. But thanks to the song “Roses” that
reminds me “say you never let me go”. I feel a little bit conscious that I am
just writing this with no direction. I just wanted to keep on writing what I
have to say and the emotions I have this morning.
I just wanted to share my life's
disappointments. I am already twenty-two years old and here I am working with
less money on my hand that I can’t even give the luxury life I dreamed of for
my parents. The song now playing is "dance with my father". I was a
bright and brilliant man who always loves incorporating with people. Others
would say I am gay inside out but they have no idea what I am going through
right now. I wanted to fast forward the events in my life to make sure I have a
good career in the future. But that’s impossible; time machines were not built
yet. I hope so. I have friends who already find their directions in life as
what facebook is feeding me. I never dreamed of a perfect life but here I am so
jealous with the achievements of my friends. I prayed a lot, I study hard but I
am in agony knowing that after college my life would stuck in the mud of a
cruel world. The song playing is “I’m not the only one”. I am crazy right now.
I wanted to end my pointless life just to get rid of these disappointments but
I have this scene in my mind wherein my mother was crying on my own grave
telling me how foolish I am.
I feel so much pressure I guess that I
didn't noticed how thankful I am than others. But the song "I’m not giving
in" reminds me to keep going. So I’m going to end this insanity. I'll just
close my eyes with the lyrics of the song in my mind written in these verses
"In God’s perfect time!"
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